Perspective...

Had the chance yesterday to talk to an old friend of mine. I am saying old, because in my book, that means treasured, valued, and wonderful. Anyone who wants to be friends with me for longer than a day or two, deserves some kind of a medal in my book, let alone one who has persevered for almost 20 years. Turns out her mom had just passed away. Cancer no less...I got the news, placed the call, and started to leave a message when she picked up. Spent the next long while, grieving together, talking together, crying together and laughing together mostly through our tears. Such is the blessing of old friends. As I talked with her, I knew what she was going through. Not just the loss of a parent, but life with cancer. Her story could have been my story. I had just lived through what she has been living through. I could hear myself saying words and phrases that let her know, I had seen and been where she was. I had walked the same road.

Perspective.

A couple of days ago, I spent some time talking with my niece. We were discussing her grandma, my mother-in-law. My "mom" is remarkable. She has been on dialysis for too many years longer than she should be,she is eighty, she is getting frail. Most of us feel she is and has been living on borrowed time for a very long time now. She recently took a fall, her second in a few months. While asking my niece (who lives near her) how she was doing, we had a discussion about grandma's borrowed time. Things like, why was she still here, what she had lived with, and through and done. What she has accomplished in her life, what she has left to accomplish...all those normal topics you go through when watching your loved one move to the time when you know their time here is short. My niece offered her opinions of what grandma is going through and I offered mine. Different opinions by what we see and in what our relationships to grandma are. When I went to say goodbye to my niece she said..."thanks for the different perspective".

Perspective.

Webster defines perspective as the ability to: look through, see clearly. Another definitions states that pespective is: the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one. Most people would define perspective as a combination of these two definitions. Sometimes in life I think we are lucky enough to look back at our experiences and realize we have learned something. Sometimes I think we look back and keep looking back trying to answer and define WHY did we go through with this or that. Most of the time, I think we combine these two strategies and make peace within ourselves about the road just traveled and move on to the next step, the next road.

When my dad passed away, I experienced so many things. I could look back and see so much learning from that experience. I could list so many blessings that have come to us from that time. Pespective. The funny thing is though, even knowing and seeing what I have learned I still am asking WHY? The rational part of my brain can answer that question. My heart cannot. Perspective. I can grieve with a friend, and understand the myriad of emotion she is experiencing. I can talk with a niece and provide insight from a different road than hers. I can face each day with all of life's ups and downs, drawing on what I have learned from earlier travels, sometimes nervous, sometimes not, but always willing to go forward.

Perspective.

I am coming to appreciate this as one of life's great blessing...