Inspire me...

Goals...Such a yucky little word! I have always hated this word..All the super organizers of the world LOVE to use this word! You have to set goals! When you reach your goal...What is your goal? What!!!???? You don't HAAAAAAVE goals????

From the time I was very little, at least as far as I can remember, which on some days is pretty far...I have never been able to figure out what was wrong with doing things a little different than the rest of the free world. Why??? Do we have to do it that way?? Beause you said so?? What a stupid reason...So what if that works for 10 million and 1 people what about the other 50 million people?? This was the logic I have always used...I am a firm believer that there is more than one way to skin a cat and just because it works for a bunch of people doesn't mean that it will work for everyone. (Hmmmm....perhaps this is the reason I have been blessed with 4 free thinking children????)

I have always been the left shoe in my family. I was blessed to be born into a family of doers! People who can do anything, who do everything, who do it way before it needs doing, people who never leave a task undone, people who GET things done, neat farms, neat yards, and even neater houses, ( people who do not accept clutter as a way to decorate your home), and on top of it all NICE....people who would always and did always do and do and do for their friends, neighbors and strangers in their communities....I on the other hand, could not understand why you wouldn't rather play in the rain than clean your room, or why waste a perfectly good day on chores, when we could be out riding, or why it had to be done ALL day Saturday instead of on some stupid week night, when we were home anyway!!! Let me clarify, that I am not talking about hard work here...(that is a whole nother soap box for me!) It wasn't the "doing" that I minded, it was the "thinking about doing, the planning about doing, the "yes we know exactly where we are going and doing". doing! Really??? Who ALWAYS knows what they are doing?? Who ALWAYS has a plan???

I have always been inspired by people, events and circumstances. I can pinpoint exactly many times in my life when I have had some type of an epiphany, where something has inspired me so much, that right then and there I made a choice and as a result changed somthing about the way I was doing things. This is something that I have always loved about myself without really understanding it, and as I grow older have come to believe is a gift. One more facet, to being who I am...I have had two such events occur recently , almost together and yet not at all together.

There is a lady whom I go to church with. I see her frequently and over the last quite a while, I have been so impressed, and so touched with her "everything" that I have determined to be more like her. She possesses many of the attributes that I would like to have. I had a recent interaction with this lady, and that was my lightbulb moment! That was my moment to say, Ah Hah! No more thinking about this, I am doing this! I have already begun to do some of the things I have been longing to do, that she has inspired me to do!

This week we had our monthly Relief Society meeting, which in our church is a night that all the women in the ward are invited to come together. We have usually a small lesson, some type of an activity and always good food and good visiting with each other. This week we had a speaker talking about the 7 goals our Bishopric has set for our ward for this year. She went through these goals, talked a little about the blessings and benefits of setting and reaching for these goals, then gave a quote, which goes something like this...............those who get to the end of their life with no firm goals in mind will look back and see many opportunites that have passed them by, they will have no accounting of what they have accomplished, they will miss much..... There is more before and after this part of the quote, these are not even the right words, but they are what I heard!

I have always, had goals and dreams, I have just never had the need to mark them as a goal! I have never had the need to broadcast to the world that I am doing something! So onto a change. This year I have been inspired...1 to be more like my friend...2 to be kinder....I have written these down and hopefully sometime I can look back and see that I accomplished these ambitions. I am still not using that yucky word....I am still a left shoe....and I am still okay that I am!!

Dairies of the food snob...

Humbled again! Someday, I don't know when and I don't really dwell on the time of when, although perhaps I should, however.....Someday, perhaps I will learn my lesson and learn to practice some humility in regards to the way I think about myself and my particular talents.

I have always and I do mean always been able to cook. Not only can I cook, but I have always been a very good cook! At age 14 I brought home 2 Grand Champions, several blue ribbons and 1 white ribbon (they said my relish tray was so good, I had to have help!! Yes!!! They thought I cheated!!! ) from the county fair. This was pretty normal for me in all my 4-H years. I entered the Beef Cook Off every year, and never thought twice about the fact that I was usually the youngest competitor there!

I LOVE to cook. Even if no one ever ate what I made I think I would still love to cook...Both of my grandmothers were amazing cooks, and I have always secretly LOVED the fact that I am the one of their grandchildren who can do what they did! I like to eat lots of things that other people cook and to be honest, most any meal someone else makes for you tastes divine! I do have a few things I make however, that I think are the best thing going! I am very picky about somethings...(I know most of you would say MANY things...) and cookies are one of them. I have eaten a lot of really good cookies in my time, but it is very rare for me to eat a cookie made by someone else that I think is really, really good, or to be blunt, better than mine! Just to be fair, there are many kinds of cookies I have no desire to make, and I am always glad when someone else makes these cookies..however I have a few that I am particular about...AND I have spent many an hour fine tuning my favorite cookies, and finding just the right tweaks to a recipe to make them turnout exactly as I want them to.

Just before Christmas many of my favorite baking items were on sale for cheap! Hurrah!! My freezer is stocked full of yummy goodness and I can make many cookies to my delight, with out feeling as though I am being way to frivolous!! So with that in mind, I dug out one of my favorite cookie recipes, that I haven't made in a year due to the fact that I refused to pay $3.89 for the kind of chips that they need...and proceeded to bake them. Just as I remembered they were divine! Gone in a minute, but still divine!

Sooo, last week, since I had a freezer full of my good bargain chips, ( my favorite brand name no less) I proceeded to make these cookies again. I was so impressed with my baking ability and so anxious to wow my receivers, I was even late to my Visitng Teaching appointment, just because I had to take some of these wonderful cookies to the Sister we were going to visit , and I knew how thrilled she would be! We arrived at the door with a plate of warm cookies in hand, all the appropriate oohs and aahs were expressed and after our visit I dropped off my partner at home. After receiving more thanks for giving her some cookies also, I went home to partake of the divine cookies I had left behind! Much to my surprise and chagrin they were nasty to say the least! They were hard little drops that tasted like they really didn't get cooked despite 15 minutes in the oven! I am so sure my friends were thrilled with my treat! I am guessing a fast trip to the dumpster was the fate of the cookies!!

I had a good laugh at myself thinking I got exactly as I deserved for being such a snob and so full of myself! Sometimes it is the big things that get to us, and sometimes it is the little things...I don't think I will ever eat those again without remembering my fall from glory and I know for sure I won't make them again until this memory fades quite a bit...

It is MY life...

I am not loving this teenage thing! (Yes I know my boys are turning into young adults, however let me keep my illusions!) I have decided that life with four small busy boys, who could always be nudged into doing exactly what their mom wanted was the best time of life. I was determined to raise 4 independent souls, who would know their own mind, and be able to stand on their own two feet. What I didn't bargain for, was the fact that those same independent souls would then make their OWN decisions and have the nerve to choose for themselves what direction their life should go, and at what pace they would go there!!

Our boys are smart, strong, independent and have the nerve to think that they should be in charge of their life! I love how self reliant they are, and how willing they are to find their own path. I love how even when the going gets tough, they just keep on going. I couldn't be prouder of them for these traits which will serve them will in the years to come....However, I keep wondering when I missed the memo that said it was time for Mom to butt out! It is hard to watch them struggle, and stretch and experience their growing pains. It is hard to watch life knock them down, and see them have to get back up time and again. It is hard to let them turn into "big boys" who can say yes I AM going to do that or no, I am NOT going to do that.

It is hard to let go of my mom voice and the ability to dole out advice and expect it to be followed on a daily basis. I am sure if you asked the boys they would tell you that I am lousy at butting out and an expert at butting in! I just keep thinking this is MY life!

Slow learner would describe me...I am finally coming to realize that growing pains are necessary and that in order for my children to be successful adults who can handle the storms of life on their own, I do need to butt out! It doesn't make it easier, but it does make it possible. How thankful I am for a Savior who has provided the way for all of us to get through life. How grateful I am for loving Heavenly Father and the knowledge of who we are and where we are going. How thankful I am to know that I am not the only one watching over these boys....This is my life...and I love it!